Brotherhood of Sighs
by Charon the Sabercat
Summary: Red Alert's depressed as all get out, and wanders off to think. Starscream cheers him up. Written in an hour in the middle of the night. Be nice. Only slash if you want it to be.
1. Chapter 1

Brotherhood of Sighs

First Transfiction, written on a whim. G1 universe, Transformers owned by Hasbro, yadda yadda yadda. Basic summary: Yes, Starscream is a jerk. But it doesn't mean he can't empathize.

It was the first time in months he'd heard jet engines without twitching. He just didn't care anymore.

He did give a tiny twitch when the null ray pressed into the back of his neck, but it was a physical response more than his nervous jump. Something Starscream noticed right away.

"If this is supposed to be a trap, Prime chose perfectly helpless-looking bait." The seeker strode to the front of Red Alert, taking in his general posture and unfocused optics with a clinical eye. "Entertain me and I might let you walk away from this with a working set of legs."

Red Alert couldn't bring himself to look away from the patch of sand in front of him. If he had been in a calmer state of mind (it was a slim chance, but still possible), he might have noticed the delicate grooves in the sand from a recent storm, the faint scattering of delicate pebbles and grass, or even the footprints the increasingly nervous Starscream in the aforementioned sand. He, however, had not come for the scenery. He came because it was a dead area in his security cameras, a blind spot he had made within the past week to hide from the other Autobots when he was feeling particularly...

Was there a word he could assign to it? Cold? Empty? Heavy? Thick? Thick seemed to work at this particular moment. All his inner mechanisms felt like they'd been melted into a semi-solid ore in his torso, his extremities feeling somewhat numb. Most of what he felt was physical now; the few emotions he did feel were stuffed into the back of his processor so well he could probably take on Prowl in a not-staring competition and win.

That would have made him chuckle a little normally. Would've made Inferno laugh so hard he would have emptied his tanks-

Red Alert flinched, and Starscream lowered his arm. Red Alert looked up just enough to see the seeker's knees; the tension visibly left them. The legs approached him and joined him on his rock, throwing an arm around Red Alert's shoulders. That earned a twitch, but the instinctive panic was quickly drowned out by the thick feeling; his eyes returned to the ground.

"Once again, Red Alert, you remind me of myself." Starscream had, without thinking, chosen to sit on the side of Red Alert with the rocket launcher. He gently pushed it out of the way to look at the Lamborghini's face. "A trait I admire in an Autobot, I assure you. Tell me, how long has this been going on?"

"Three decacycles," Red responded without thinking.

Starscream only squeezed him again. "Anything in particular happen?"

"Inferno..."

Starscream had to think a moment. "Red one with the..." The embarrassment rolled out of his mouth as he spoke it. "... things on the side of his neck-guard, correct?"

A nod this time.

"What did he do to you?" Starscream's arm tensed a little, not in a squeeze. Red's spark sent a warm flush of energy up his energon siphon. What tha- from Starscream? No.

"N-nothing... nothing, I just... want... more."

It was more than he'd said to Prowl, Jazz, the twins, Optimus, Ratchet, and Inferno himself in weeks. Red Alert shifted his arm uncomfortably; either he had leaned or been pulled, but he was now putting a lot of weight on Starscream. The jet gave a soft sigh and stroked Red's wheel, earning another jerk and, quickly, and even heavier lean on his frame. "As in often the case with the more intelligent Transformers such as ourselves, Red Alert, we thinkers can be prone to fits of melancholy.

The jet turned a little and pushed Red Alert's torso towards him, finally managing a degree of eye contact with the somber car. "Dim-witted fighters like Megatron and the fire truck don't understand that our gifts come with consequences. We can think circles around most of our peers, and what does it get us? Isolation and fits of crippling depression."  
"... you too?"

"Long ago, Red Alert. When I lost Skyfire." There was a barely noticeable pause before Starscream said, "The first time. I know exactly how you feel."

The phrase brought back bad memories, mostly of the guilt, shame, and embarrassment afterwards. The time spent with Starscream when his logic chips were blown actually wasn't that unpleasant. Despite his outward panic, inside Red Alert was giggling like a sparkling who'd found a friend to make mischief with. Plotting against his supposed betrayers, using tricks only he knew, skirting on the edge of danger, and having a partner to do it with...

Red Alert smiled.

The resulting grin on Starscream would have split the average face in half. Sure, the grin was half-devious, it always was, but it was a smile nonetheless. "There we go. Good Red Alert."

With one hand in his and the other on Red's back, Starscream lifted the security director to his feet and gave him a solid thump. "You will have to go back soon, you realize? I'm making your helmet spark."

"You are?" Red touched his fingers to his sensory nodules; they were hot to the touch, and his thumb began prickling with static electricity. "I-I-I didn't feel it."

"Depression tends to dull your sense of touch." Starscream gently pulled his cockpit sideways and pulled a container out of subspace. "Here. This is the medication I took when I was suffering from depression. Take two with low-grade energon, and it has to be low-grade or your tanks will expel it, _one way or the other_."

Red Alert only said at the tiny bottle, eyes scanning over the various prescription numbers and other little medical things only Ratchet could understand. "B-but i-isn't that-"

"Yes, taking another mech's medication is extremely dangerous and shouldn't be done." Starscream's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, and his voice went straight into teacher mode (Red Alert had gone into teacher mode once while he was out driving, he knew the sensation well). "Especially _that_ medication. It's specially formulated for seekers... not to mention it's several thousand vorns old. You're supposed to take it to the medic to have him check to see if it's poison. And then the medic is supposed to ask why I gave you anti-depressants, you tell him why, he puts you on your own anti-depressants and makes you have a heart-to-heart talk with the fire truck."

Red Alert was speechless. For a while, at least.

"Th-this isn't... really poison... is it?"

The smile softened. "No. I thought about it, to preserve my reputation." Starscream pulled out another bottle, shaped different and missing the prescription tags. "But I like you. You remind me of myself, and I like that. I couldn't risk you actually trying to taking the medication."

Red's spark warmed up his chest again. He clutched the tiny medicine bottle and cycled a deep breath before smiling again. "Thank you, Starscream."

He pulled the jet into a hug; it was Starscream's turn to flinch. He kept his arms stiffly up and his back stiff. Red Alert just buried his nose in Starscream's shoulder vent and patted a wing until he was content.

The hug broke, and Starscream shot into full view of the closest security camera before making his way back to the Decepticon base. As expected, a small group of Autobots came to the scene wielding their guns within a few seconds. Red Alert waited for them patiently and let himself be escorted back inside.

They were antidepressants. The ones Ratchet prescribed didn't work as well as Inferno's crushing hugs.

Ratchet didn't have the heart to tell him that Starscream's pills were only a few months old.

Brotherhood of the Depressed People Who Understand What You're Going Through just wasn't as catchy of a title.


	2. Chapter 2

Brotherhood of Sighs

Because reviewers wanted more. Thanks, reviewers! By the way, Skywarped? I fixed the weird sentence.

* * *

Starscream had been taken prisoner.

Optimus Prime tried to excuse it any way he could. Yes, the seeker_ had_ been injured on the battlefield, his injuries_ had_ been treated, he _was_ being fed, and he _was_ (by Starscream's own admission) being treated better than he _ever_ was aboard the Nemesis.

He was still the Autobots's prisoner, and with being a prisoner comes interrogation.

Or, at least, there was supposed to be an interrogation. The thought that maybe they had taken the wrong Decepticon prisoner came to the Prime's mind when he came to the monitoring station to check on Starscream's progress.

He saw Red Alert, not at his desk, but in Starscream's cell.

He leaned as close as he could to the screen without hurting himself. Red Alert was sitting in front of Starscream, on his knees, while the jet sat on his cot and rubbed the Lamborghini's shoulders. Strange. Usually the mech receiving the shoulder rub faced away from the mech rubbing them. Instead, Red Alert was turned toward the seeker, keeping solid optic contact as Starscream as blue fingers worked their way around servos and hydraulic pumps.

How in the Pit did this happen?

Optimus wished he had payed attention in school at this point. He also wished he had an audio feed; Red Alert's face was quivering. He kept touching his throat nervously as he stopped speaking, waiting a few seconds before returning to whatever he was saying. Optimus thought about the last time he'd talked to Red Alert. It was just this morning, and his voice sounded fine. He wondered how long it took for a virus to affect a vocoder. He _really _wished he had payed attention in school at this point. I'll be a dock worker, he said to himself. I'll never use any of this stuff anyway. Way to go, Orion.

Bad Optimus. Back to Red.

His optics focused back onscreen, settling on Starscream. The jet wasn't saying a word, keeping his face solemn and stern as Red Alert continued. His hands, however, tended to speed and slow in their attentions at random intervals, sometimes pausing for a quick squeeze or a dip into an armor seam that made Red Alert giggle and Starscream give a sad smile-

He stopped. His optics flashed, and his eyes flew over his face as his shoulder hunched. Optimus leaned forward, searching desperately for a clue as to what happened.

Starscream rubbed his optics twice before returning his hands to Red Alert's shoulders.

Were his optics... shinier?

No...

They were _wet_.

Red Alert jumped up and threw his arms around Starscream's shoulder vents, elbows sticking out at obviously uncomfortable angles. His mouth was moving quickly, and his face was just clear enough to make out a few words:

"Are you okay? Are you okay, Starscream? It's all right..."

Optimus, who had been standing the whole time, sat. There was no chair beneath him. He simply sat, aft section hitting the floor with a loud clang. His eyes never left the monitor. Starscream had stiffened uncomfortably, arms kinked in a non-commital, nervous V. Red Alert patted him a few more times before letting go, mouth moving so quickly Optimus couldn't even tell where words started and ended. Starscream gave a few words back, and the security direction quickly left the frame.

A flash of panic/curiousity (a very strange combination of emotions, Prime noted) flitted through Optimus's processor. His eyes darted around Red Alert until he found him on another camera, and then again when Red dashed past that one and onto another, and another, and another, and- was that Bluestreak or Smokescreen he crashed into? He really needed to ask the humans for color cameras- another, another, all the way to the commissary and back to Starscream's cell with a mosty-full energon cube.

And then he realized he hadn't watched Starscream at all. Optimus mentally hit himself. How inobservant can one mech be? Focus, Prime!

Starscream reached into his subspace and pulled out a small container. He opened it and shook two capsules into his hand, put them on his tongue, and took the entire cube of energon.  
And with that, it all ended. Starscream replaced the lid of the container and placed it back in his subspace. Red Alert patted his arm and gave a few last words.

"Thank you, Starscream."

"Thank _you_, Red Alert."

And with that, he left.

"Wow." Optimus rubbed his own optics before the tears could fall under his mask (it tickled like the Pit). That gave him a warmer welling of hope in his chest than any victory would ever do. Even an inobservant mech like himself could see that beautiful display of true friendship between the Autobot and Decepticon. Perhaps there was some chance of this war ending peacefully after all.

And then Inferno stormed into Starscream's cell and punched him into the wall so hard he knocked out the security camera.

Optimus sighed. Maybe he should've been paying a little more attention to the other monitors.

* * *

Here you go, guys. 


	3. Chapter 3

Brotherhood of... Giggles

Had to bump the rating for this one, but it was just too funny.

* * *

Megatron THOUGHT Starscream had kidnapped Red Alert for the strategic advantage and the luxury of having an important hostage.

The squeaking and giggling sounds coming from the brig said otherwise.

He cursed whatever moron had decided that opaque doors were a good idea. According to recon, the Autobot brig had a very invisible, just as effective energy field door that kept the prisoner fully aware of his surroundings (and others aware of anything that was going on inside). The Decepticon brig, instead, was sealed by a large, imposing hyper-iron door. It created a wonderful sense of claustrophobia in prisoners, and they never knew who was coming to "interrogate" them next.

Nor did it let the other 13 Decepticons know what Starscream was doing to the lucky mech to make him squeal like that.

&&&

Red Alert was sitting on the edge of his cot, bouncing his feet so the springs holding the meager bed up would squeak. Starscream was against the opposite wall, sitting on the waste disposal, trying to keep his giggling from turning into uproarious laughter.

Red Alert was a _devious_ little thing. Starscream had only kidnapped him to gossip and maybe get in a few of those "hug" things Red Alert liked to give him (just to get his fill so he wouldn't have to do it again... yes, that was it); but once Red had started nervously rocking on the edge of the cot, it was all over. Soon, the red mech was smiling ear to ear and panting so loud he could be heard through the door. Starscream at first thought his spark was shutting down, and was about to go for help with Red Alert winked and started chirping.

Then he got it. When he got enough self control to not laugh, he moaned something at the hinges so his audience could hear him clearly. The most cheesy lines he could think of came first: "Oh yeah, baby" and "Oh! OH!" were frequent favorites mostly because he was too distracted to think of anything else.

&&&

"B-Boss?" Rumble quivered anxiously at the noises coming from the cell. "W-what are they doin' in there?"

Soundwave responded a little too quickly with "Information: Unnecessary" and hurried his little cassettes into the hallway.

"Woohoo!" Brawl punched the air in-between booming guffaws. "Go, Dad!"

Thundercracker rubbed his neck in a mix of extreme embarrassment and awe. "Never knew Starscream had it in 'im."

Megatron could only stare at the door as his core temperature rose.

&&&

Red Alert leaned over and whispered as low as he could, "Who should be taking it? You or me?"

Starscream only giggled louder. His whisper was harsh and strained. "I-haha-hai don't know!"

"Okay, I'll wait." He leaned back again and rolled his head on his shoulders. "Oh, Starscream!"

That broke his already fading self control. Starscream howled in laughter and responded, moving his fists and hips in the thrusting gesture the humans like to use. "Oh, YES, Red Alert! Give me more! Give me _more_!"

The Lamborghini's breathe caught in his intake valve for only a moment before moaning, "OH! You feel so good!" Without skipping a beat, he leaned forward and whispered to Starscream again. "I guess you're taking it, huh?"

"What?" A hint of indignation leaked into Starscream's voice. "Oh, Primus below! Fine!"

He didn't even wait for Red Alert to back up again, instead arching himself against the back wall and wailing, "YES! I want you in me! MORE!"

&&&

Meanwhile, the Decepticon planes (minus Skywarp, who was on the Decepticon equivalent of KP duty) had formed a Starscream fan club and were praising the supposed virility of jets over ground-pounders. The ground-pounders, in turn, had begun rooting for Red Alert. The fellow Lamborghinis seemed especially certain that the Autobot would drive Starscream into overload at least twice before finishing himself off.

Soundwave only monotoned, "Faking it."

Ramjet hissed at the blue mech, "How do you know?"

"Personal experience."

The admission did nothing to stop the heat from pumping through Megatron's fuel lines, not even the mocking wave of retching noises that followed Soundwave's line. His face was probably bright red by now, but he didn't care. He needed to kidnap this one more often!

&&&

Starscream pulled Red Alert towards him. They'd fallen into a system now; whenever one needed to talk, the other would make a circle with his fingers and noisily kiss his hand, allowing for a temporary and unassuming break in the moans. Red Alert did so, and Starscream whispered into his ear. "I'm running out of stuff to yell-" His eyes went straight to a little flashing light in the junction of Red Alert shoulder and neck. "... is that a camera?"

Red nodded as soon as Starscream placed his fist to his mouth. "To stop the rumor mill."

But of course. Smart little mech. Starscream smiled and had an urge to really kiss the Autobot for his ingenuity. "Devious little thing, you."

The jet switched to his hand as Red Alert replied, "Okay. We'll start wrapping this u-"

His hand was stuffed back into his face. Starscream's eyes were suddenly very wide, and he leaned up against the door.

&&&

"What's going on in here?" Skywarp shut the door behind him with some difficulty. "And why are all the cassettes outside?"

&&&

"Fraggin' pit!" Starscream choked on his own breath. "Skywarp!"

&&&

Wildrider pointed to the door. "Starscream's in there getting pounded by an Autobot!"

&&&

"What's that mean-"

"Red Alert, trust me!"

The car suddenly had his back against the opposite wall.

&&&

Skywarp let loose a lecherous grin. "Nice."

Without another thought, he warped into the cell.

&&&

Starscream was in his lap, using his leg to push their hips together-

Skywarp appeared behind them. Red Alert gasped and clung to Starscream in a panic. Starscream turned and shrieked, tiny fangs jutting out of his upper teeth

&&&

"YOU SLAGGIN' GLITCH SPAWN!"

Somehow, Skywarp hit the door so hard he knocked it off its hinges _and _deadbolt. Starscream wasn't far behind, either, blasting every square inch of the confounded mech with overcharged null rays and cluster bombs (which were a lot like water balloons; they didn't explode unless them landed just right, so it took a few painful tries before they did what they were supposed to). The brig exploded in a tangled chaos of mech-on-mech, the jets and Lamborghinis screaming about ruined betting pools and claims of superiority. Only Red Alert made it out of the tangle without a scratch, quickly making his way to the pressurization chamber and out of the base.

&&&

Red Alert shut off the tape. "See? I was never in any real danger, and now I have a route to the brig from the Northwest entrance in case anyone is ever captured!"

"That was, um... interesting, Red Alert." Optimus could only blush as the other Autobots started to applaud the little mech.

"We are _so_ inviting you to the next party!" Sunstreaker roared.

Sideswipe raised his hand in affirmative. "Lamborghinis forever!"

"No, _jets_ forever!" Powerglide snapped.

Silverbolt nodded. "Yeah, we can interface circles around you any day!"

And then it all kind of fell apart, with Red Alert giggling like a sparkling and Optimus grumbling about immaturity and it all being for the good of the cause. Ratchet patted Red Alert on the back. "Antidepressants working?"

Red Alert nodded happily.

&&&

Starscream HAD to hit up Red Alert for a copy of his performance. He was still laughing from the actual event. Oh, if he only had the video! That would beat the antidepressants any day!


	4. Chapter 4

Brotherhood of Sighs

How is it that many hands make light work, but too many chefs in the kitchen spoils the soup? Probably has something to do with this scenario... A drabble.

* * *

"GAAAH!" Starscream ripped the pot from Jazz's hands. "You do NOT cook oils in the same pot as the metals!"

"And why not?!"

"BECAUSE IT RUINS THE OILS!" The Decepticon howled. "No wonder Red Alert's sick!"

Jazz pointed an accusing finger at Starscream's nose. "Red's sick because you fed him weirdo Decepticon food-"

"You're the ones using contaminated equipment!"

The saboteur's temperature skyrocketed. "OH, THAT'S IT!"

And they were on the floor in a crash of metal-on-metal, leaving a very confused Bumblebee to continue stirring the mercury sauce.

Elsewhere on the Ark, the Security Director sneezed and smiled.


End file.
